Here’s the fascinating thing about the clients I work with — by all intents and purposes, they’ve made it. They have a great job. They’ve built a family. They have solid friendships. They are in the green financially personally and for their children.
But there’s something missing — a big something.
And that missing thing is an unwavering belief in themselves. You might wonder — how can someone be so successful without believing in themselves?
Well, of course, they have some belief in themselves to achieve as much as they have. But, it is a conditional belief. The belief is predicated on something — getting the bonus at work, buying the reach house, being the life of the party — whatever “the thing” is that makes them believe “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”
That’s’ not what I’m talking about at all. I’m talking about CORE BELIEVE IN SELF.
A belief so deep that in the quietest moments — like those few seconds right before sleep — there is a stillness. And in that stillness, they know deep down — I am a good person, I am worthy, I am lovable. My clients come to me see me because they don’t have those moments and they want to know how to get them.
After working with these resilient souls for over ten years, I’ve learned a KEY reason why unwavering self-belief is so hard to embody. Stick with me to learn all about the barrier to self-belief AND how to solve for it.
This is going to require some participation on your part, so get yourself ready to ante up. Focus for the next 30 seconds and I promise you will NOT regret it. We’re going to get through this together. Remember what I always say — it’s not going to be easy. But nothing good is every easy, so let’s get to it —
Identify a far reaching, wild goal. It can be financial — like surpassing your parents earnings. It can be emotional — opening up to your partner. It can be professional — changing careers or building a business. Whatever it is, let it come forward.
Now, I want you to close your eyes. Take a breathe, deep into your belly. Relax your shoulders. I am going to say something and I want you to pay attention to the VERY FIRST thought that comes into your mind. Also be present to your body and your emotions.
Want to learn more about What is somatic therapy and how it can help you with Anxiety? Click HERE
You are capable of achieving your wildest dream and are worthy of that dream.
OK, what happened?
My guess is that a good number of your initial thoughts suggested that you are capable of achieving your dream. You have good evidence that you can do hard things. I know you can white-knuckle anything and come out the other side successful.
But then, when I said that you are WORTHY of that achievement, I bet another thing happened entirely. And that other thing — it was located in your body. Your chest tightened, your stomach churned. You felt a heavy sense of doubt. And then the thoughts started funneling in.
When you reflect on that voice, can you identify who it is?
If not — here’s a hint — that voice is one of your earliest caregivers. That person can be a parent, a family member, a nanny, a teacher. And if you listen hard enough, you will recognize the owner of that voice. It’s NOT YOU. How do we get that voice out of your brain, your body — the voice that feels os powerful it seems like it’s embedded in your DNA? Well, we need to do something called body based recovery. This is an approach that focuses on your immediate bodily responses to the world around you. These responses then inform your thoughts and your emotions.
For example, don’t you want to understand why you have a rush of terror that runs through your body when your boss calls. You’re a top performer and there’s no rational explanation for your fear, but it still takes over your body. How about the knot in your stomach on your wedding anniversary — the nagging doubt that maybe you don’t deserve this love, this family.
Once we learn how your body responds to certain triggers, we can use evidence-based strategies to rewire the way you respond to the people, events, and situations in your life.
When you get on the other side of that work — WOWWWW!
Every day becomes an opportunity to ENJOY what you’ve built. You know you deserve it. You know you’re worthy. And most importantly — your BODY got the message. So now, your muscles are loose. Your jaw is unclenched. Your stomach is calm. Your chest is open and proud.
Life just gets so much better when your mind, body, and spirit are all on the same page. And that page says — I am worthy of all I have achieved and will continue to celebrate who I am and where I am going.
If you want to talk to a licensed therapist, click HERE to learn more about Dr. Cammy